「等事情解決了，我就不焦慮？」你可能誤會了焦慮 Anxiety isn't outside

不要認為讓你焦慮的外在事件消失了，你就不會再焦慮了。因為重點不是外在，是內在。

現在小孩還小，小孩課業落後我好焦慮，等他長大成人了，我就不會再焦慮了➡️ 真的嗎？

現在窮，每個月都在焦慮沒錢，等我賺夠錢，我就不會焦慮了➡️ 真的嗎？

現在工作上常感到焦慮，等我退休不用在工作後，我就不會再焦慮了！➡️ 真的嗎？

容易焦慮的人，什麼事都會變成很值得讓你焦慮（理由還會很合理）。

當小孩大學畢業了，放心好了，你會開始對他的未來工作焦慮。

當你的財產上千萬了，放心好了，你會開始焦慮自己的錢放哪裡會安全。

當你60歲退休了，放心好了，你會開始焦慮自己的健康狀態，哈。

有發現嗎？焦慮的事情，只不過隨著時間換了不同的外在事件，焦慮一直在你心裡等著被你再次引動，所以，不要認為讓你感到焦慮的外在事件消失了，你就不會再焦慮了。

此外，外在事件有停止的一天嗎？我認為沒有。

人生路在走，外在事件就會一直存在，直到我躺在棺材裡XD 其實即便我躺在棺材裡，外在事件還是會繼續，只是我不在乎了，不是嗎？

那到底該怎麼辦？

我想第一步會是「自我覺察」，我覺察到我的焦慮出現了，若沒有覺察就不會意識到自己的焦慮狀態，就也沒機會做些，或不做些什麼。

可以問自己：

「這些焦慮是真實的嗎？」

「我可以如何與焦慮的自己相處？」

「我可以怎麼做來增強內在的穩定，來面對千變萬化的外在事件？」


再來，你知道兩個人相同條件下，面對同一件事，一個可以很焦慮，一個可以很平靜嗎？

Ａ 是內在穩定的人。
B 是易焦慮的人。

A 和 B 在同一個部門上班，都是月薪 5 萬的上班族＆租房子＆養一隻貓＆每月都會存款 1 萬 5，有一天 A 跟 B 都被公司裁員了。

● 內在穩定的甲：

好喔，工作那麼長時間，現在被裁員，那就當一個休養生息的機會吧！並趁這機會把過去想做的事，但因為工作關係而無法做的手打編織包/學畫畫/每日為自己做早餐並好好吃飯，一一拿出來做。

過去存下的錢，這時候也是派上用場支持自己休息的時候了。

等內在能量再次被充滿時，在開始「對外分享」，開始找尋新工作機會去付出美好的自己。

宇宙很有趣，你歡喜你做的事，也會帶來你無法預測的發展。例如 A 開始每日為自己做早餐，並把照片丟 IG 做紀錄，結果沒想到引來網友們關注，開啟做菜直播的路。

內在穩定的人不代表他就一生順遂什麼事都如能所願，不是喔。而是他面臨事件發生時，他能夠在困境裡找到安頓自己的力量。



●易焦慮的乙則開始：

天阿，怎麼辦怎麼辦，我下個月沒薪水了，貓咪要吃飯我也要吃飯，沒工作就沒薪水，我要付不出房租了，我是不是要趕快再找另一份工作才行？

我有什麼比別人還優勢的能力？好像也沒有，我那麼平庸，該如何跟社會上名校畢業的人競爭？

人家那個誰前陣子還升主管，結果我現在竟然是被裁員？爸媽下個月剛好要來找我，我該怎麼跟他們說我被裁員了？他們會不會覺得我很沒用？好丟臉啊！

開始了因焦慮而失眠的日子.....(1.真的很可憐！）（2.焦慮的原因也都很合理對吧？）




內在越穩定，那遇到外在事件時，就能越不引起強烈的情緒反應。

此外，內在的穩定度才是真的讓你在面對事情時，能夠帶領自己走出事件的力量。

從內在下功夫吧！而不是期待外在世界消失，就沒事了。

P.s 可以套用不同情緒。例如焦慮換成壓力、憤怒、悲傷、不安全感

思考問題

1. 我是不是總在等外在改變後，才覺得自己可以安心？

2. 當焦慮出現時，我通常怎麼反應？是抗拒、忽視，還是好奇地去看見它？

3. 當生活變得混亂，我可以靠什麼讓自己穩住心緒？

----------------- 完 -----------------


明明工作就是帶人爬山，結果反而山文寫比較少，好喔，之後我可能會多寫一些關於山的文（吧？🤣）

我喜歡跟他人探究思考些什麼，尤其帶隊時，能與隊員一起思索人生事，覺得幸福❤️ 爬山是長時間的相處，比較有餘裕能一起慢慢想，一起慢慢成長，哈。


（原文寫在 2022.9.10 我個人臉書 Betty Yuchan Tseng 上，經修改後重發在網站上）

"Once This Problem Is Solved, I’ll Stop Feeling Anxious"—Or Will You?

If you believe that your anxiety will disappear as soon as a certain problem is solved, you might be misunderstanding where anxiety really comes from.

It’s not about the external situation. It’s about your inner state.

"My kid is young and struggling in school—I’m so anxious. But once they grow up, I’ll feel better."
Really?

"I’m broke and stressed every month. Once I have enough money, I won’t feel anxious anymore."
Are you sure?

"My job makes me anxious. Once I retire, I’ll finally feel calm."
Will you?

People who are prone to anxiety can turn anything into a reason to worry—and those reasons often sound incredibly logical.

Your kid finishes college? Now you’re anxious about their career. You’ve saved up millions? Now you’re anxious about where to keep it safe. You retire at 60? Now you’re anxious about your health.

Notice the pattern? The object of your anxiety changes with time, but the habit of anxiety stays the same. It’s not about the issue—it’s about what’s happening inside you.

And let’s be honest: do external issues ever really go away? Not really. As long as you’re alive, there will always be something going on. The world doesn’t stop turning until you’re in a coffin (and even then, it keeps turning—you just stop caring).

So what can we do?

Start with self-awareness.

Can you recognize when anxiety shows up in your body or thoughts?

Ask yourself:

• Is this anxiety actually true and urgent?

• How can I sit with this feeling instead of fighting it?

• What helps me build inner steadiness, no matter what’s happening outside?

Let’s look at an example.

Two people. Same situation. Same income, same rent, same lifestyle. One gets anxious. One stays calm.

Person A: calm and grounded.
Person B: easily anxious.

Both get laid off.

Person A: "This could be a reset I didn’t know I needed. I finally have time to try that thing I’ve always wanted—painting, cooking, weaving bags. I’ll dip into my savings, rest, rebuild my energy. I’ll look for a new opportunity when I’m ready. Who knows—maybe it’ll open doors I never imagined."

Person B: "Oh no, no paycheck next month! What will I eat? What about my cat? My rent? I need a job ASAP. But what skills do I even have? Nothing special. How can I compete with people from top schools? And my parents are visiting next month—what will I tell them? They’ll think I’m a failure!"

Same facts. Very different energy.

Inner stability doesn’t mean your life is perfect. It means that even when things go wrong, you have tools to steady yourself, to find calm in the chaos.

And that’s something no external situation can give you. It has to come from within.

Start building that.

Don’t wait for the world to calm down. Calm yourself, and face the world.

P.S. This doesn’t just apply to anxiety. You can swap in stress, anger, sadness, insecurity… and it still holds true.

Funny side note: I work as a mountain guide, but I barely write about the mountains. Maybe I should start…? 🤣

I just really love reflecting and having deep convos with people—especially when I’m guiding. There’s something magical about walking through nature while gently untangling life’s big questions. It’s slow. It’s spacious. It’s beautiful. ❤️

(Originally posted on my personal Facebook on Sept 10, 2022. Revised for the blog.)

Reflection Questions

1. Am I waiting for something outside of me to change before I can feel calm?

2. How do I usually react when anxiety shows up—do I fight it, ignore it，or get curious?

3. What helps me feel grounded when life gets messy?