你的問題真的無解嗎？檢視自己是不是陷入「自命不凡」的思維 Is Your Problem Really Unique

以前我很理所當然認為「每個人不同，遇到同一個問題，當然適合的方法也不同呀」。

直到我聽到一個演講

台下觀眾發問：「我遇到OOXX問題，我試過好多種方法，那些方法對別人有用，但全都對我沒用，我該怎麼辦？」

主講人說：「方法對別人有用，就對你都沒用，是不是你認為自己超級特別？遇到的問題跟別人比起來特別不一樣，認為世上沒有人、沒有方法可解決，有沒有可能是你的自命不凡造成的呢？」

哇靠，當下我一聽心裡立刻「叮🔔」了一聲，就此銘記在心！！！完全沒想過會有自命不凡的面向，但它確實很有可能。

自認為非常與眾不同，不願意好好嘗試他人提供的方法，只做一點做一點，沒明顯效果就斷定這方法無用。

這讓我學到一課。當我們在抱怨方法無用時，要虛心檢視我們是不是有自命不凡的症頭😂 （但自命不凡的人會虛心檢視嗎？🤔 好像也不會耶，囧。）

然後後來就變成「是的，每個人不同，遇到同一個問題，當然適合的方法也不同。但若一直遲遲找不到適合的方法，就該檢視自己是否有自命不凡的大頭症。」

此外我讀到一本書提及：「古今中外的人們面臨到的人生課題，其實在許多書籍裡都很有機會找到答案，即便沒有直接答案，你也可以找到一些可嘗試的線索」這概念。

我很同意這概念。

認真想想，人類的煩惱，其實好像也就那幾樣？！伴侶、工作、人際關係、夢想、親子、財務、學業、生命、自我、心靈、健康...

我隨意舉幾個例嘿～

【伴侶】
・為何我一直找不到對的人？
・在關係上我沒有安全感，怎麼辦？
・伴侶生活習慣差，我該怎麼辦？
・伴侶跟前情人聯絡，我好擔心，該怎麼辦？
・伴侶外遇怎麼辦？


【工作】
・我要選錢多但不喜歡的工作？還是選錢少但是是喜歡的工作？
・好想自己創業當老闆，但要怎麼開始？
・我要如何學會談判提高薪資？
・職涯選擇到底該怎麼選？
・我要如何提高工作效率？
・員工難管理怎麼辦？


【人際】
・為何我一直交不到知心朋友？
・為何我總是被人利用？


【夢想】
・我該勇於追夢？還是現實點？
・別人好像都有夢想，但我不知道我的夢想在哪裡...


【親子】
・小孩難管教都不聽我的話該怎麼辦？
・我知道該放手讓孩子飛，但我就是放不了，該怎麼辦？
・我一直被家人情緒勒索，好痛苦...


【 財務 】
・為何我一直存不到錢？
・我要如何才能財務自由？不在為錢工作。
・投資理財工具百百種，到底要怎麼選？


【 學業 】
・功課壓力大，讀了也不知道要幹嘛，我該繼續完成學業嗎？
・我文憑差，出社會難找工作怎麼辦？
・我文憑好，家人對我期待好高，好想死，我該怎麼辦？


【 人生 】
・我要如何才能做自己？過自己想過的生活？
・我很有錢但心靈空虛找不到人生意義，怎麼辦？


【 自我 】
・自我懷疑
・自我否定
・為什麼我一直改不掉壞習慣？
・為什麼我總是無法拒絕他人？
・為什麼我那麼容易在意別人的眼光？


【 健康 】
・我長期失眠、胃痛，我該如何擁有健康的身體？
・啊啊，最近又開始莫名頭痛了！好煩啊，去你媽的頭痛！



這些問題我想大家多少都有聽過，甚至還可能是自己正面臨的問題。
「太陽底下無新鮮事」啊！😂😂😂

so，統整一下這篇我想說的是

1️⃣.不要以為自己的問題，是盤古開天闢地以來第一個面臨到這問題的人。無論什麼身份地位的人，其實都還是「人」，你會遇到的問題，別人也會遇到。

2️⃣.有問題，就去翻翻書吧、去問問人吧。帶著好奇心去學習、去尋找答案。

3️⃣.若死命找還一直找不到，那可以檢視一下自己是否有自命不凡的症頭。

 想想時刻 🤔

1. 我是不是因為覺得自己很特別，就太快把建議推掉了？

2. 如果我真的認真嘗試之後再說「不行」，會不一樣嗎？

3. 我一直覺得「什麼都沒用」，會不會其實是一種偽裝過的自我膨脹？

搞喂完畢，下台一鞠躬。


（原文寫在 2022.8.18 我個人臉書 Betty Yuchan Tseng 上，經修改後重發在網站上）

Is Your Problem Really Unsolvable? Or Are You Just Being a Little Too Special?

For the longest time, I believed this without question:

"Everyone is different, so even if the problem is the same, the solution that works must be different for each person."

Until one day, I heard a speaker respond to a question from the audience that made me pause.

Someone asked: "I’ve been struggling with this issue for a long time. I’ve tried all kinds of things. These solutions work for others, but none of them work for me. What should I do?"

And the speaker said:

"If something works for others, but none of it works for you, could it be that you think you're just too special? That your situation is so unique, no method on earth can help you? Could it be that you're stuck in a mindset of self-importance?"

BOOM. That hit me like a bell ringing in my chest. I’d never considered the possibility of unconscious self-importance—but wow, it made a lot of sense.

Sometimes we’re so convinced we’re different, we don’t really give methods a proper shot. We try a little here, a little there, and then say, "Nope, this doesn’t work for me."

That moment taught me a lot. When I catch myself dismissing every solution, I try to humbly check in: "Am I falling into that trap of thinking I’m too special for this to work?"

(Although let’s be real… do people who think they’re too special actually self-reflect? 🤔 Maybe not. Yikes.)

So now I say: yes, we’re all different. And yes, what works for others might not work for you exactly. But if you’ve been searching forever and still can’t find a fit—maybe it’s time to check for a touch of ego.

I also once read something that stuck with me:

"The challenges people face, throughout time and across cultures, are often surprisingly similar. A lot of the answers can be found in books. And even if you don’t find an exact solution, you’ll find clues worth trying."

I couldn’t agree more.

When you really think about it, human problems tend to fall into a few familiar categories:

Love & Relationships

• Why can’t I find the right person?

• I feel insecure in my relationship—what do I do?

• My partner’s habits are driving me crazy.

• My partner is still talking to their ex. I’m spiraling.

• What do I do if they cheat?
  
  

Work & Career

• Should I choose a well-paid job I don’t like, or follow my passion and earn less?

• I want to start a business—but how?

• How do I negotiate for a raise?

• How do I even choose the right career path?

• How do I manage my time better?

• Help, I can’t handle my team!
  
  

Friendships & People

• Why can’t I find close friends?

• Why do I always feel used?
  
  

Dreams & Purpose

• Should I go after my dream or be more practical?

• Everyone seems to have a dream—I have no idea what mine is.
  
  

Family & Parenting

• My kid never listens to me—what now?

• I want to let go and give my kid freedom, but I just can’t.

• My family guilt-trips me all the time. It hurts.
  
  

 Money & Finances

• Why can’t I save money?

• How do I become financially free?

• Sooo many investing options—how do I choose?
  
  

 School & Studies

• School stress is killing me. I don’t even know why I’m doing this.

• I have a weak diploma—how do I survive in the job market?

• I have a strong diploma—but now my family expects too much. I feel crushed.
  
  

Life Questions

• How do I live my truth and stop pleasing everyone?

• I have money, but no meaning. What’s the point?

Self & Emotions

• I doubt myself all the time.

• I keep messing up. Will I ever change?

• Why can’t I say no to people?

• Why do I care so much about what others think?

 Health

• I have insomnia, gut issues—how do I get healthy again?

• Ugh, my migraines are back! I'm so done with this pain.

Sound familiar? You've probably heard at least a few of these—maybe you’re going through some yourself.

As the saying goes: there’s nothing new under the sun. 😂

So here’s the takeaway:

1️⃣ Don’t assume your problem is so unique that no one else in the history of the universe has faced it. No matter how high your status or role, we’re all still human. If you’ve faced it, someone else probably has too.

2️⃣ When stuck—read. Ask. Stay curious. Explore. Look for clues.

3️⃣ If you've tried everything and still feel stuck—check yourself for signs of ego. You just might be making it harder than it has to be.

Time to Reflect 🤔

Am I rejecting advice too quickly just because I think I’m different?

Would things feel different if I really gave it a try before saying “it doesn’t work”?

Is my constant “nothing works” mindset actually a quiet form of ego?

Mic drop. I'm out. 👋😆

(Originally posted on my personal Facebook on August 18, 2022. Revised for the blog.)